For centuries, this Italian masterpiece evolved slowly and sensibly, adding ingredients that actually made logical sense together.
Then came the modern era, where apparently any remotely edible substance becomes a potential pizza topping in someone’s genuinely twisted culinary imagination.
Darwin never properly accounted for this level of devolution.
1. Anchovies
These tiny, salty fish have been dividing pizza lovers for decades.
Anchovies pack an intense punch of saltiness that can overpower every other flavor on your slice.
Many pizza shops stopped offering them because so few people ordered them.
Why It’s On This List: The overwhelming saltiness and fishy smell can ruin an entire pizza for most people.
2. Canned Corn
Some people think corn belongs on pizza, but here’s the deal – it just doesn’t work.
The kernels pop off when you bite into your slice, creating a messy eating experience.
Corn adds unwanted sweetness that clashes with savory pizza flavors.
Why It’s On This List: The texture and sweetness completely throw off the balance of a good pizza.
3. Ketchup as Pizza Sauce
I made a classic mistake once and watched someone use ketchup instead of pizza sauce.
Ketchup is loaded with sugar and vinegar, making it far too sweet and tangy.
Real pizza sauce has herbs and spices that complement cheese and toppings perfectly.
Why It’s On This List: Ketchup turns pizza into something closer to a sugary mess than authentic Italian cuisine.
4. Fruit Cocktail
Some adventurous eaters have tried putting canned fruit cocktail on pizza.
The syrupy sweetness and mushy texture create a bizarre contrast with cheese and crust.
You’re better off keeping fruit cocktail in the dessert category where it belongs.
Why It’s On This List: Sweet, syrupy fruit has no business mixing with savory pizza ingredients.
5. Mayonnaise
This creamy condiment has no place on a hot pizza.
Mayonnaise becomes oily and separates when heated, creating an unappetizing mess.
The tangy flavor competes with cheese instead of complementing it.
Why It’s On This List: Mayo breaks down under heat and creates a greasy, unpleasant texture that ruins the pizza experience.
6. Canned Tuna
Some people think tuna makes pizza more nutritious, but here’s the catch.
The fishy smell becomes overwhelming when heated in the oven.
Tuna’s dry texture doesn’t pair well with melted cheese and tomato sauce.
Why It’s On This List: The strong fish smell and dry texture make every bite unpleasant and overpowering.
7. Banana Slices
Believe it or not, some people actually put banana slices on their pizza.
The fruit becomes mushy and overly sweet when baked.
That’s why most pizzerias refuse to offer banana as a topping option.
Why It’s On This List: Bananas turn into sugary mush that completely overwhelms the savory pizza flavors.
8. Raisins
These dried grapes have somehow found their way onto pizza in some places.
Raisins add unexpected bursts of sweetness that clash with cheese and sauce.
The chewy texture feels completely out of place on a pizza slice.
Why It’s On This List: The random sweet bursts and chewy texture disrupt the smooth, savory pizza experience.
9. Chocolate Chips
Some people confuse pizza with dessert and add chocolate chips.
The chocolate melts and creates a sticky, overly sweet mess.
You’re better off enjoying chocolate chips in cookies where they belong.
Why It’s On This List: Chocolate chips turn pizza into a confusing dessert that satisfies no one’s cravings properly.
10. Pickles
These tangy vegetables might work on burgers, but pizza is different.
The vinegar from pickles makes the pizza soggy and overpowering.
The sour taste fights against the cheese and sauce instead of working together.
Why It’s On This List: Pickles add too much vinegar and sourness, making the entire pizza taste unbalanced and wet.
11. Marshmallows
These fluffy white treats belong around a campfire, not on your pizza.
Marshmallows melt into sticky, gooey blobs that burn your mouth.
The overwhelming sweetness completely masks any other flavors on your slice.
Why It’s On This List: Marshmallows create a sticky, overly sweet mess that burns your tongue and ruins the pizza’s texture.
12. Breakfast Cereal
Some people think adding Cheerios or Froot Loops makes pizza fun.
But here’s the deal – cereal gets soggy and loses its crunch immediately.
The milk-soaked texture creates a mushy, unappetizing topping.
Why It’s On This List: Cereal becomes soggy and flavorless, adding nothing but weird texture to your pizza.
13. Green Peas
These little green spheres roll right off your pizza slice.
Peas add a starchy, bland flavor that doesn’t complement cheese or sauce.
You’re better off eating peas as a side dish where they actually make sense.
Why It’s On This List: Peas roll off the pizza and add bland, starchy flavor that clashes with traditional pizza tastes.
14. Cottage Cheese
This lumpy dairy product has a completely different texture than pizza cheese.
Cottage cheese doesn’t melt properly and creates watery puddles on your pizza.
The bland, sour taste fights against the rich flavors of tomato sauce.
Why It’s On This List: Cottage cheese stays lumpy and watery, creating an unpleasant texture that doesn’t belong on pizza.
15. Grape Jelly
I made a classic mistake watching someone spread jelly on their pizza slice.
The artificial grape flavor becomes sickeningly sweet when heated.
That’s why fruit preserves should stay on toast, not pizza.
Why It’s On This List: Grape jelly turns pizza into a confused breakfast item with overwhelming artificial sweetness.
16. Raw Garlic Cloves
A little garlic powder is fine, but whole raw cloves are too much.
Raw garlic becomes incredibly harsh and bitter when baked.
The intense flavor burns your mouth and lingers for hours.
Why It’s On This List: Raw garlic cloves create an overpowering, bitter burn that ruins the entire pizza experience.
17. Instant Ramen Noodles
Some college students think adding ramen makes pizza more filling.
But here’s the catch – the noodles get mushy and flavorless in the oven.
The artificial seasoning packets clash with pizza sauce and cheese.
Why It’s On This List: Ramen noodles become soggy and tasteless, adding weird texture without any flavor benefit.
18. Gummy Bears
These chewy candies have no business on a savory pizza.
Gummy bears melt into sticky, artificial-tasting blobs.
The fruity sweetness creates a confusing flavor combination with cheese.
Why It’s On This List: Gummy bears melt into sticky, overly sweet blobs that completely confuse your taste buds.
19. Popcorn
This movie theater snack doesn’t translate well to pizza.
Popcorn gets soggy from the pizza’s moisture and loses its crunch.
The kernels fall off every time you take a bite.
Why It’s On This List: Popcorn becomes soggy and constantly falls off, creating a messy eating experience with no flavor payoff.
20. Ice Cream
Some people think ice cream makes pizza more interesting.
You’re better off eating ice cream after your pizza, not during.
The cold temperature and creamy texture create a bizarre contrast with hot, cheesy pizza.
Why It’s On This List: Ice cream melts immediately and creates a confusing hot-cold temperature clash that ruins both foods.